The Reds, or One More Team Named for Hosiery

If you asked me "Tell me something about the Cincinnati Reds," I would mutter some phrases like "Pete Rose was some sort of gambler, right?" and "Marge Schott was some sort of racist, right?"

But a small part of the Wikipedia entry for this team makes me like them -- at least, the historical "them" -- 

The best players of the Cincinnati Red Stockings relocated to Boston after the 1870 season, taking the nickname along with them and becoming the Boston Red Stockings, a team later dubbed the "Beaneaters" and eventually the "Braves", who are now based in Atlanta. A new Cincinnati Red Stockings team became a charter member of the National League in 1876, five years after the first Red Stockings team. The second Red Stockings team was expelled from the league after the 1880 season, in part for violating league rules by serving beer to fans at games, and for their refusal to stop renting out their ballpark, the Bank Street Grounds, on Sundays. 

Sweet. So their fans were drinkers and they were capitalists who ignored blue laws.

That's a team I can get behind.  Hosiery and all.

"Los Angeles is a constellation of plastic." - Norman Mailer

Hello all, today's blog post is brought to you by your fascinating guest blogger, Bethany's husband Matthew.

                                            

Today, I'll be writing about The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.  Seriously, that name is ridiculous.  Does that mean we should call them the Minnesota Twins of Minneapolis, or the Texas Rangers of the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex (but mostly in Arlington)?  Is there something special about Anaheim that makes it worth mentioning, other than Disneyland?  I know Disney wants us to believe that Anaheim is some kind of destination worth caring about, but no one really does.  Disney World is infinitely better, if you like that kind of thing.

There's not much to say about the Angels other than that they won one World Series in 2002 against an incredibly juiced Barry Bonds.  However, the original owner of the Angels was none other than Gene Autry, cowboy singer extraordinaire.  Gene Autry's real name is Orvon Grover Autry, so you can see why he went by Gene (although Gene isn't really a badass cowboy name either, I'd bet that if he was a real cowboy he wouldn't have done very well).

                         

Orvon Grover is most famous for the songs "Here Comes Santa Claus", "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer", and "Frosty the Snowman" (also not particularly cowboy).  He owned a ranch in California that was originally called the Monogram Ranch.  He renamed it Melody Ranch, not very cowboy.  Although they did film the first few years of Gunsmoke there, so that maybe gives it an air of authenticity. So, I guess what I'm saying is that Orvon Grover, the Angels, and Los Angeles are perfect partners.  He was a fake cowboy, the Angels don't really have an identity (they just sign good players from other teams, a small time Yankees if you will), and I'm pretty sure Los Angeles doesn't really exist.

Ladies and Gentleman, your Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim!

***Blog owner's note -- The views of this author do not necessarily reflect those of the blog owner. She (I) would like to say for the record that she (I) loves (love) Gene Autry. Christmas would not be same without him. Hopefully our marriage can survive this rift.

Don't Mess with Texas

Ah, the Texas Rangers.

 Yee-haw.

Just the name makes me think of this guy:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/4b/WalkerTitle.jpg

Didn't really care for the show, but then again, Chuck Norris doesn't really do it for me.

I actually have a few things to say about the Texas Rangers. Their story is interesting -- the original Washington Senators became the Twins, then MLB gave Washington a NEW Senators ballclub in 1961 and then after the 1971, THOSE Senators moved to Arlington to become the Rangers.

George W. Bush and a group of investors bought the team for $89 million in 1989. He was named Managing General Partner of the group, and apparently increased his investment over the first year. So, it seems like he didn't do too bad a job there.

Good for him. See, even though I'm a flaming liberal, I can give credit where credit is due! Although there was apparently some financial shadiness and murky allegations of insider trading and oil money and personal profit from the expenditure of public funds...but you can read about that here. Wikipedia did note:

As President, Bush has refused to authorize the SEC to release its full report on the Harken investigation.When the Rangers franchise was sold for $250 million in 1998, at a total profit of $170 million, Bush personally received $14.9 million for his $600,000 investment.

Wait, the Bush Administration wasn't forthcoming with documents that are relevant to the public and would perhaps expose unsavory dealings by him or his political cronies? Oh hush, that's just crazy talk. 

Oops -- this is a BASEBALL post, stay on point.

After his time with the Rangers, like the proverbial butterfly-wing-flap that sets off a hurricane on the other side of the globe, he was elected Governor of Texas...and the entire course of world history was inexorably altered. 

I'll just put it this way - I wish Dubya would have stuck with baseball. Go Rangers!

The Marlins/Marlons

Because a ski vacation awaits, I'm going to have to make this a quick one. The fact that it's going to be 60 today does not dampen my enthusiasm for some adult time with out-of-town friends! I will ski on slush to get out of the house and socialize with a glass of wine -- literally.

http://mlb.mlb.com/team/  

I'm going to go with the Marlins. Wikipedia has a section in their Marlin entry entitled "Birth of the Marlins," but to be more precise, I think it should say "Hatching of the Marlins."

Marlons that I think are more interesting than the Marlins:

Marlon Brando. The greatest movie actor of all time? Perhaps.

Marlon Jackson. He was born several weeks premature, and had a twin brother who died shortly after birth. Also, he is/was a successful real estate agent in Southern California. I knew none of this prior to today.





Marlon Wayans. He attended the LaGuardia High School of the Performing Arts (the school from Fame) and Howard University.

Yeah, that's all I've got. Did I miss anyone?

Houston, we have a problem...

...which is that I have very little to say about you, today, or any other day.

Today I'm writing about the Houston Astros. These guys.

http://images.pictureshunt.com/pics/a/astros_logo-9414.gif

Apparently, they used to be these guys:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/ce/HOU_1094.gif/220px-HOU_1094.gif

but that was a really long time ago (1964)...but I suppose they do count as another team who sanitized their former name that had violent connotations. Guess there's a lot of those!

Anyway, their new name is supposed to reflect NASA and the space program, located nearby at the Johnson Space Center. If I were to find myself in Houston, I would be more inclined to visit Space Center Houston, the visitor's center at Johnson, than go to an Astros game. Truth be told.

I know that MLB would prefer that when I think of the Astros, I think of this:

http://www.baseballpilgrimages.com/national/minutemaid.jpg

or this:

http://www.nasa.gov/images/content/296657main_jsc2008e154358.jpg 

But in reality, I think of this:

http://tralfaz.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/astro.jpg

Chicago Cubs and a few good book/movie selections

I like Chicago quite a bit - in fact, if I were to move back to the Midwest I would very strongly consider it. It reminds me of Pittsburgh, only bigger; New York, but smaller and with a less offensive-to-the-ears hometown accent; St. Paul, but dirtier; Boston, but newer; Milwaukee ["Actually, it's pronounced "mill-e-wah-que" which is Algonquin for "the good land."] but tougher. A number of our friends in NY moved to Chicago to the point that our daughter thought that's what people did -- moved to Chicago -- when their oldest kid turned 5.

One of their two MLB teams is the Cubs (but c'mon, you already knew that):

http://mlb.mlb.com/team/

But so many other great things are set in this city! Besides the Chicago Manual of Style (which I adore), in real life there's fantastic shopping, an amazing food scene, Navy Pier, the Art Institute of Chicago, Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me! and This American Life...so much to do that a three-day weekend would challenge you to pick only your absolute favorites.

HOWEVER... Chicago is the setting for a substantial amount of literary and theatrical fabulousness, as well.

Two books that I absolutely LOVE that are set in Chicago: Devil in the White City, by Erik Larson, and the Dresden Files series, by Jim Butcher. Devil in the White City is a fantastic non-fiction story set at the 1893 Chicago World's Fair, about the fair itself and a serial killer. SO GOOD. The Dresden Files books are about a wizard who lives in Chicago...and it's excellent if you like that kind of thing. And even if you don't, you might not hate it.

There are many other great works of literature set in Chicago, such as Native Son, but I have to admit that after reading that for AP English in 12th grade I haven't opened it again, because it is so damn depressing. Just the word "Bigger" makes my stomach churn.

Lots of great plays/musicals are set in Chicago too... Glengarry Glen Ross, Proof, A Raisin in the Sun, Superior Donuts (which I did not see on Broadway but oh how I wanted to)...and of course, the eponymous Chicago. (Wow, I think that's the first time I've gotten to use the word "eponymous" in a sentence.)

As for movies, well...that list is long and (somewhat) distinguished, films that were at least partially set in Chicago or Chicagoland:

The good:

• About Last Night... 
• Home Alone
• Mean Girls
• Meet the Parents (I'm not even going to deign to mention the other two)
• Bridesmaids
• Adventures in Babysitting (Elizabeth Shue circa 1987 - everybody loved her)
• Wayne's World (contains a line I have found myself quoting unironically all the time -- Stacy:  Well, that doesn't mean we can't still go out. Wayne-Well, actually it does. That's what breaking up is. )
• National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
• My Best Friend's Wedding
• High Fidelity (the book was better, but oh well)

The great:

• When Harry Met Sally (more of a NY movie, to be sure, but it did start off here)
• National Lampoon's Vacation
• Risky Business (oh, you were so cool before you got all weird, Tom)
• Ordinary People
• THE ENTIRE JOHN HUGHES HIGH SCHOOL CANON. ALL OF IT.
• My Big Fat Greek Wedding
• Ferris Bueller's Day Off 
• The Blues Brothers
• Sleepless in Seattle
• The Sting
• Glengarry Glen Ross (before Jack Donaghy was Jack Donaghy, he was Blake)

The terrible:

• The Whole Nine Yards
• Home Alone 2
• Home Alone 3 (and I think there's a "4" but I choose not to actually find out)
• What Women Want (anti-Semites plus tired stereotypes = no thank you)
• Vegas Vacation (enough already)
• Michael (John Travolta as an angel. Gag. The wings looked cool, though.)
• Curly Sue (I usually think it's a terrible thing to hate a child, but...)

The probably-objectively-terrible-and-I-recognize-this-but-I-still-like-watching-it: 

• Wildcats
• Backdraft 
• While You Were Sleeping (an integral component of the Bill Pullman/Bill Paxton test)
• National Lampoon's European Vacation
• Never Been Kissed
• She's Having a Baby  (the "baby" in this movie would now be 24. Frightening.)
• The Lake House
• Dick Tracy
• Flatliners (so many good people in this completely average one!)
• Save the Last Dance (I do love this movie. It is so completely unrealistic, and not nearly as good as Center Stage, and Julia Stiles cannot do hip-hop, but I do love it.

My only complaint about Chicago is that I really don't care for deep-dish pizza. Too greasy and doughy for me. Other than that, go Cubs!

[shudder]

Oh we've got trouble...right here in Tampa Bay*

My team of the day is the Tampa Bay Rays. This is another team that I (surprise!) know nothing about, so I turned to Wikipedia. And, I challenged myself to find some link to making me care about this team, by way of musical theater.

http://mlb.mlb.com/team/

Let's start with fun facts about the Rays - They were called the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, but a la the Washington Bullets their name was sanitized so that the team would become "a beacon that radiates throughout Tampa Bay and across the entire state of Florida."

Lame.

*Tampa Bay is not a municipality, merely a body of water. I consider this to be misleading. 

They play in Tropicana Stadium, and I like orange juice, so I guess that's okay.

But now I will attempt to connect the Tampa Bay Rays to me in some meaningful way....watch this:

Tampa Bay → The line from "Wells Fargo Wagon" (The Music Man): And once I got some grapefruit from Tampa..." → Shirley Jones was in The Music Man → Shirley Jones was from Charleroi, and was crowned "Miss Pittsburgh" in 1952→ I'm from Pittsburgh.

See? That one was kind of easy.

Alternative route:

Tampa Bay → The line from "Wells Fargo Wagon" (The Music Man): "And once I got some grapefruit from Tampa..." → Shirley Jones was in The Music Man with Robert Preston → Robert Preston was in the movie "The Last Starfighter", with which I was obsessed when I was in 5th and 6th grades (until Top Gun came out, and then Dirty Dancing) → In 2004 someone had the genius idea of making "The Last Starfighter" into an off-Broadway musical → I love musicals.

Ok, one more:

Tampa Bay  →  The line from "Wells Fargo Wagon" (The Music Man): "And once I got some grapefruit from Tampa..."  →  Shirley Jones was in The Music Man with Robert Preston  →  The song "Ya Got Trouble" from The Music Man includes the line ""ow they're gonna cover up a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen."  →  Billy Joel also mentioned Sen-Sen in "Keeping the Faith" ["I took a fresh pack of Luckies and a mint called Sen-Sen"]  →  "Keeping the Faith" was on Joel's 1983 album "An Innocent Man"  →  Also on "An Innocent Man" was "This Night," where the chorus melody is taken directly from Beethoven's Sonata Pathetique →  I heard Sonata Pathetique the other day on those cable music channels in the 500s that I leave on so there's background for the baby and while on the "Light Classical" channel I found myself singing "This night will last for-eeeee-ver....Why is Billy Joel in my head?"  → I need to get out of the house more.

And....done.