Sometimes I feel like I can't be completely honest with people...even people that I love. And to tell you the truth, that kind of drives me crazy.
There are certain things that you just can't say to people, like:
"He is MARRIED. And not to you. So let it go."
"What do you expect? You married a child."
"How come your husband/wife/boyfriend drinks so much?"
"No, that will never change. You're fooling yourself if you think it will."
"You cannot treat mental illness with only diet and exercise."
"I don't care how long we've been friends, you should still send me a thank-you note for that present."
"Your inertia indicates weakness, and is not a virtue."
"Despite his claims to the contrary, he did sleep with that girl that he 'fell in love with' while he was married to you."
And the perennial favorite, "He's just not that into you." I hate to use that one, seeing as it's been abused ad nauseum, but the underlying thought is still wildly appropriate.
Perhaps some would make the case that the people you love are EXACTLY those to whom you can say these things...but I think probably not.
1 comment:
For me, this is a thorny issue.
On the one hand, I have learned some life lessons over the years, and sometimes I feel like I should share my thoughts about things.
On the other hand, I'm aware that at times, the motivation isn't that pure. No matter what I say about maintaining integrity, attacking hypocrisy, or helping the people I care about, sometimes I think I just like sounding smarter than other people. I like feeling like I understand situations better than others, and that I have a more effective emotional life.
So, for me it's a balance. For the most part I blunder forth, with my mouth on spew, skewering anyone and anything I feel I can deride in an amusing fashion. Then, I go home, make myself dinner, and go to sleep.
Feeling like I have integrity, that I stand up for what I believe, and that I'm a straight-shooter fills a hole inside me that I haven't been successful filling in other ways. It's highly effective, but at what cost?
That's part of an answer to a slightly different question than the one you posed. For me, it's "Why shouldn't I say it?"
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